Why do we suffer? We know that life involves struggle and a host of difficult experiences. That is no surprise. There are some difficulties however that are beyond our normal ability to manage.
When we get hit with blow after blow and constantly feel the adrenaline rush of another crisis or overwhelming event, it can exhaust out internal ability to cope. In these situations we may become stuck in negative cycles, becoming unproductive and consciously or unconsciously tied to the past.
When that happens, coping well falls to the wayside and uncertainty and anxiety take over. Your nervous system becomes overwhelmed, and thoughts are consumed with the trauma or avoiding trauma triggers.
How do you find relief? Coping effectively means managing and responding to stressors with strategies that help keep you inside your “window of tolerance.”
Not sure what that means? That’s okay, we’ll explore this and more below to help you discover a path toward more support and peace of mind.
Recognizing Your Window of Tolerance
So, what’s a window of tolerance? Mental health expert Dr. Dan Siegel, MD., explains it as the way our perspective shrinks down following a trauma. Negative, traumatic, terrible experiences can slam your window closed or thrown you out of your window. At this point, you may feel highly agitated, reactionary, or overcome by emotion.
That state of upset and arousal indicates that the less logical parts of your brain are preventing calm and self-control. Understanding your window of tolerance can help you restore calm.
The key to determining your window? Learning how to reset your nervous system.
Experts agree that approaches that focus on mindfulness, breath, movement, and touch can create calm and greatly improve your ability to cope.
Learn to Stay in Your Window of Tolerance
Regulating your feelings is the way to stay in the window of tolerance. Concentrating on staying present helps counter high levels of arousal caused by anxiety.
You can soothe yourself and widen your window of tolerance in the following ways:
Support Coping with Mindfulness
Awareness is the first step toward self-regulating your emotions. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment. You want to let events happen, without controlling or judging them.
Therapy can teach you to observe your thoughts, breath, and reactions as they occur. In other words, you learn to notice when and how you are being “pushed” out of your window of tolerance. This helps you discern and address your anxiety, thereby improving your ability to regulate, redirect, and use self-control.
Somatic Exercises Improve Coping
When you feel your window of tolerance narrow, feeling better is more than just a process of addressing emotions. Positively improving your physical state also helps regulate your emotional responses. Thus, focusing on your posture, movement, and your five senses can make a positive difference.
Try these methods to reconnect and stay tolerant of uncertainty and stress:
Breathing techniques: These may include elongated exhalation, breath counting, and diaphragmatic breathwork. These activities can slow racing thoughts, soothe tension, and support more effective coping.
Posture practice: Often, it’s helpful to locate and pay attention to your physical center. Feeling safer and more grounded, you can recognize your body as a container for emotions.
Movement: Staying in your window of tolerance includes feeling the strengths and skills of your body. Frequently, coping is improved by pacing, tapping, rubbing, or rocking your body.
Sensory work: Your window of tolerance is often supported via the five senses. Choosing to indulge in a warm bath, diffuse fragrant essential oils, listen to soft music, or drink hot herbal tea can be soothing. Progressive muscle relaxation guided by your therapist can help too.
Allow Yourself Some Support
Each of us has our own window of tolerance. To honor it sometimes takes more than willpower or good intentions. It’s perfectly okay to seek some guidance and support beyond the strategies mentioned above.
A compassionate, qualified therapist can help you remain in your window. Working together, you can secure a safe space to process memories and emotions that trip you up or keep you stuck emotionally. Your therapist may even help you open your window of tolerance a bit wider.
We are here to help. Please read more about anxiety therapy and reach out for a consultation soon.