By Lea Nguyen
Have you ever daydreamed and almost missed your subway stop or your exit on the highway? What
about unintentionally “tuning out” in the middle of a conversation? Although strange and annoying,
these moments of disconnecting from the here and now are everyday levels of absentmindedness.
But what if you found yourself in a different location not knowing how you got there? Or you
couldn’t remember what you said or did in the last few hours or even days? What if you feel as if
you’re watching yourself from the outside? What if the world feels like a dream or a blur? If these
experiences sound familiar, you may be experiencing dissociation. Dissociation disconnects you from
the present, yourself, and the world around you. How can you tell if you’re experiencing dissociative
symptoms? Everyone’s experience of dissociation is different, but these are some of the tell-tale signs
of dissociation:
Derealization: You feel as if the world around you is not real and/or flat, dull, or gray. You have
tunnel vision when looking at the world.
Depersonalization: You feel as if your mind is disconnected from your thoughts, feelings,
actions, or body. It feels like an “out-of-body experience.”
You feel that you don’t understand a sense of who you are or your identity.
You don’t remember what you did or said for a period of time Episodes of dissociation
vary in length, lasting from minutes or hours to weeks to months.
You are told by others that you go into a “trance-like” state.
You feel physically and/or emotionally numb.
You forget certain events or personal information.
You feel like your mind is going blank.
You feel as though you have different selves or don’t have control over different parts.
Dissociation is associated with mental health conditions including:
Dissociative identity disorder (DID)
Dissociative amnesia
Depersonalization derealization disorder (DPDR)
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Depression
Anxiety
Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
Bipolar disorder
Schizophrenia
Dissociation is linked to a traumatic experience (i.e., domestic violence, sexual abuse) in the past.
Dissociation is one of the ways your brain protects you and is your body’s response to stress outside
our window of tolerance. In other words, it is a defense mechanism to prevent you from reliving a
traumatic experience and to avoid intense feelings of guilt, shame, helplessness, fear, or pain related
to traumatic memories. While dissociation has helped you at the time, it can arise long after the
trauma is over – meaning it can be triggered by something in the present. It may be external stress
factors like going through a break-up or losing a job or internal stressors, such as intrusive thoughts
or memories.
Dissociative symptoms can be distressing and disabling. It may significantly impact your well-being
and your ability to cope and function throughout your daily life. So, how can you manage
dissociative symptoms?
Coping with Dissociation
Choosing to manage dissociative symptoms is essential to your overall well-being and self-care.
Understanding how you experience dissociation and what works for you may take some trial and
error as well as habitual effort. Let’s get into some of the most effective self-soothing and coping
strategies to manage dissociation.
Grounding Techniques
Grounding involves connecting yourself with your surroundings and back into the here and now.
It can be as simple as running your hands under running water and noticing how it feels. Is it
cold or warm? How does it feel on your palm? On your fingers?
Another technique involves considering the facts in the present moment. Ask yourself the below
questions to gently shift you back into the present moment:
Where am I right now?
What is today’s date?
What time is it?
What is the temperature outside?
One of our favorite grounding techniques is to use all five senses to notice what’s around you:
5 things you see
4 things you hear
3 things you feel
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste
Mindfulness
When we have survived trauma, the body may not recognize that the trauma happened in the
past. The body is unable to differentiate between past and present, so it is constantly in survival
mode. Mindfulness can teach your body how to be present – in the “right here, right now.” The
goal of mindfulness is to not clear your mind or stop thinking but to simply notice your thoughts
and feelings rather than getting lost in them.
Take a minute and close your eyes or focus on the visuals in this mini-meditation video with
Deep-Breathing
Taking mindfulness to another step, we can teach the body to be present in the moment as well
as teach the body to calm down. When you’re experiencing dissociation, you may not tolerate
the physical sensations, negative emotions, and painful memories associated with trauma. By
calming down the survival network through deep breathing, dissociation is less likely to occur as
we teach the body to deescalate.
One technique is by using the Box Breathing technique. Take a few moments to practice this
breathwork with Headspace. You can also use apps like Breath Ball to guide you to breathe in
the rhythm of the Breath Ball.
Positive Affirmations
It may help to comfort yourself with what you need to hear to bring yourself back to the present
moment. When you begin to sense the warning signs of slipping into a dissociative state, anchor
yourself with positive affirmations. Some statements can sound like these:
I am worthy of recovery.
I am present, and I am safe.
I am choosing to be in the here-and-now.
Journaling
Certain feelings, smells, noises, places, people, or situations trigger dissociation. Recognizing
these triggers will help you develop more insight into the patterns. What triggered the
dissociation? Try to recall what had happened right before including any thoughts, emotions, and
physical sensations. When you begin to understand what triggers dissociation, you can take a
step back and use self-soothing techniques to combat dissociative symptoms.
A person writes in their journal.
Therapy
When you’re experiencing trauma-related dissociation, the first step is to acknowledge and
accept that dissociation is happening. However, parts of your brain “shut down” during
dissociation, so it can be difficult to notice the onset of a dissociative state. If dissociation is
interfering with your well-being, relationships, and work, consider reaching out for support.
With the right kind of support, you can safely discover what is coming up from the past to the
present, reconnect and reintegrate the dissociated parts, regain a sense of self-awareness, and
reduce dissociative symptoms. Here at Haven Mental Health Counseling, a trauma-informed
mental health professional can help you safely understand trauma and the way it affects your
mind and body, including through the use of eye movement desensitization and reprocessing
therapy (EMDR) and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy. We can help you discover what made sense
at the time given what was going on in your past that has helped you survive (which were useful
at the time but not so much anymore) and learn new ways to cope with stress. We can recognize
the signs that you’re dissociating, and help you explore emotions, thoughts, and memories
related to trauma.
Through our work together, you can learn how to live your life, instead of just surviving it. When
you’re ready, get in touch with us to begin your healing.
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References
Dissociative disorders. NAMI. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-
Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/Dissociative-Disorders
“Janina Fisher, Phd.” Janina Fisher, PhD :: Training & Workshops,
https://janinafisher.com/workshops.html.