Premarital Counseling

You are in love. There is no doubt that this person is the best you have ever met and for better or for worse you want to make it work "until death do you part." You get along well, you are attracted to their smile, and enjoy their company the most. There are the butterflies, romantic promises, and the growing excitement of the Big Day (or week depending on your culture)! Everything would be perfect… If only you were not nervous about commitment. If only your families got along better. If only you knew for sure how your partner felt about money, chores, parenting- the list goes on. If only you could predict what might go wrong…

Pre-Wedding day jitters and doubts are completely normal and not unfounded. Every couple at some point will encounter difficulty. What we hope to normalize here at Haven Mental Health Counseling is not fearing your apprehensions but rather embracing them, as a team. Pre-marital counseling is an excellent opportunity for you and your partner to begin learning how to process life events and stressors as a unit. Figuring out flowers, food, guest lists, and budget, can be so overwhelming, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture in the process- your union! As the wedding approaches with all its demands and planning, time set apart to check-in with one another and connect will become more important than ever to ensure a healthy marriage.

Pre-martial counseling will not only keep your relationship vibrant during this transition period, but it will also strengthen your foundation as a couple by identifying “cracks” in communication patterns, unmet expectations, and current methods of resolving conflicts that might prove damaging over time. For example, the intensity of planning a wedding will bring to the surface how each of you responds to stress, and so it is a good time to identify and address these patterns now before they become a bigger issue.

If you are struggling with knowing whether this will “all work-out or not” we at HMHC can help you assess what is working for you two now and give you the tools to address potential issues in the future. There may already be problems arising in the way you talk with one another, handle the relationship with your families, or show up for one another when things get stressful. Perhaps certain topics provoke so much anxiety you would rather brush things under the rug and make-up than face what will inevitably come up again in the future. Together we will tackle the hard questions and make a game-plan for success as we demystify the process how of two lives merge into one.

As our clients, you can expect to learn how to better understand your communication style and how it interacts with your partner’s. We will work through money management differences and setting financial goals that balance both partner’s desire for security as well as gratification. We will get to the nitty-gritty of expectations surrounding child-rearing, division of responsibilities, chores, and parental care. We will examine the roles, influences, and challenges that family and friends pose for the relationship. Most importantly we will help you learn how to recognize and meet the deepest needs of your partner, which is the not-so-secret ingredient to a healthy and loving marriage.

At HMC we use the SYMBIS (Save Your Marriage Before It Starts) assessment to guide exploration, address these important topics and provide practical tips on how to manage problems before they begin. The assessment is far from one-size-fits-all and we are careful to consider the specific cultural values of the couple as individuals and as well as a unit.

The SYMBIS Assessment has been used with over a million couples and with great success. Pre-Marital Counseling itself is correlated with a 30 percent higher marital success rate for couples who received counseling before their wedding than those who did not! Sadly, only about 40 percent of couples who are getting married agree to premarital counseling…and then we wonder why the divorce rate is 2 in 3!

At HMHC, pre-marital counseling consists of up to 8 sessions. It is designed to be short term and specifically tailored to address all things marriage from mindset to money and more. It is a small investment to ensure a healthy start to the rest of your life!

Enduring love is both beautiful and possible so let’s make this trip down the aisle your one and only. Reassurance, a deeper understanding of your partner, and a firm relational foundation are only 8 short sessions away- call us today!