When you decide to get married, you picture your dream life with your partner and all the wonderful memories you'll make together in the future.
You don't consider the fact that 40% of marriages end in divorce...
It's not a happy thought, but most couples can work through their issues and learn to adapt to the transition of married life with the right support and advice.
Marriage counseling is a great way to address relationship concerns or any others problems you might be experiencing together.
So, are you interested in finding out more about couples therapy? Or, are you worried about what to expect?
Then, keep reading to find out everything you need to know.
What You Need to Know
Firstly, you need to know what marriage counseling means. Maybe you've watched a film, or read about the topic but you aren't sure exactly what it is...
Qualified marriage counselors are trained to diagnose specific relationship problems and provide solutions for making marriage work.
Marriage counseling is all about creating a safe space for you and your partner to talk about relationship anxiety. The main cause of arguments, distress or worry is lack of communication in a relationship.
Research shows that improving communication skills with thoughtful, intentional approaches will increase the success rate of your marriage.
How?
It allows you to voice misunderstandings, come to mutual agreements, and avoid arguments later on.
Now, you might be wondering, how do you know if you need marriage counseling?
Signs You Need to Go to Marriage Counseling
If you are reading this, you either suspect you need to go to counseling or you are about to attend an appointment and you want to make sure you're making the right decision.
No matter the reason, it's useful to know the key signs to look out for when deciding to go to marriage counseling or not. Here is a list of the most common signs:
You only view your relationship as negative
You repeat the same conflicts without resolution
There's a lack of communication
No sexual intimacy
You feel that your partner is emotionally unavailable
Struggling to overcome trauma or bad experience
Couples with substance abuse or mental health issues
As you can see there is a mixture of reasons why you might have to go to marriage counseling. In contrast to the common misconception that couples only go to couples therapy if they are about to get divorced...
The truth is, every couple has different issues and obstacles to overcome. Sometimes, you need a little extra help so you can work through them together and work towards a happier marriage.
Preparing for Marriage Counseling
Once you've chosen to take the step and book an appointment for couple therapy then you might be anxious about what to expect and how to prepare in advance.
If that's the case, these tips will help you overcome your fear and feel confident going to meet your therapist.
1) Pick the Right Therapist
When it comes to researching the right therapist for you and your partner, there are a few things to consider. For example, do they have experience with your problem? And, are they within your budget?
These are important questions to ask yourself when you are trying to find the right therapist. Seeing that therapy is a personal and emotional experience, you want to make sure you feel as comfortable as possible.
2) Discuss Your Goals
To get the most out of your therapy session, you should have a conversation with your partner to discuss your goals for going to marriage counseling.
For instance, here are some goals you could suggest:
Start new routines such as more quality time, or cooking together
Identify commitment issues from past relationships
How to improve communication
Having a goal in mind will help the process and allow to achieve better results in a small amount of time. It will also make it easier for your therapist to suggest a plan for your relationship.
3) Get Ready to Feel Uncomfortable
There's no denying that going to therapy is scary and overwhelming. You don't know what will happen, what you will say, or what might come up when you are in the therapist's office...
The best way to cope with the unknown is to prepare yourself for these emotions in advance. Although it can be daunting to talk about feelings that could hurt or anger your partner, it is a key part of the process.
Going to therapy should make your marriage better, so going through some awkward meetings, difficult feelings, and uncomfortable moments is worth all the effort.
Benefits to Couples Therapy
If you need a little more convincing, here are some other benefits to going to couples therapy.
Are you wondering if it's worth it? Will it make a difference? And, will your partner be willing to go?
Then, understanding that marriage counseling enables you to see one another's perspective might convince you.
Most of us can get trapped in our heads and forget about other people's needs. It's human and it can happen to everyone, but in moments of rage or stress, it can prevent you from seeing the other person's perspective.
As well as this, you can develop coping mechanisms that might mediate future situations when there's conflict. This can help you build trust that you might have lost between each other.
Of course, this will take time, energy, and effort but if you are both willing to put in the work then it could lead to a happier and more fulfilling life together!
Recover Your Marriage With the Right Therapist
As already mentioned, finding the right therapist is an essential component to seeing results from marriage counseling. If you don't feel at ease, you might not get to the root of your issues.
Thankfully, Haven Mental Health Counseling is the perfect place to go. They offer expert help, wonderful resources, and a warm, welcoming environment.
All you both need to do is show up and have an open mind. The rest will take care of itself.
Get in touch today to find out more!