With vaccinations becoming increasingly available and restrictions being lifted, many are rejoicing at the prospect of leaving their bubble to brave this new post-pandemic world. For couples, this new terrain can result in some unexpected bumps in the road.
When the world shut down, many couples had to adjust to seeing their significant other 24/7, while others had to make do with just a few hours of connection through a screen. Almost a year and a half into the pandemic, partners who have survived the upheaval are facing yet again a new set of changes to navigate.
These changes can include shifting work schedules, relocation, revamping halted wedding plans or disrupted vacations. Most notably, the time previously spent with one another is bound to undergo a dramatic shift.
“Couple Time” might have to be re-imagined
No longer forced to be either separated nor together, the new freedom to socialize as one pleases comes with the responsibility of setting time apart for you and your partner to connect. With increasing opportunities made available to spend time apart, one partner may be more reluctant than the other to come out of the relational cocoon. The increased proximity during the pandemic may have brought with it a welcome sense of intimacy and attachment during that dark and uncertain time. Leaving the bubble may be seen as a threat to this quality time spent with your loved one.
For others, social distancing created a buffer from the unwelcome pressures of family and friends on your relationship. Re-entering the world means a re-opening of the relationship to a deluge of opinions on child-rearing, house buying, and career choices that quite frankly you likely aren’t asking for. Without established boundaries and clearly communicated expectations, you may find yourself feeling quickly overwhelmed.
Couples may not be aligned about the risks they are willing to assume publicly
The issue of public health is yet another topic needed to be worked through. Differing opinions on vaccines, masks, returning to work and socializing can cause emotions to run high. One partner may feel less comfortable socializing with individuals who have not been vaccinated while the other may be unwilling to be vaccinated and prefer to continue social distancing. Couples that met during quarantine may be taken aback by these discovered differences in their worldview of health, individuality and social responsibility. Couples should prepare for this learning phase by having intentional conversations about expectations surrounding their decision to reemerge or retreat.
So, how are couples supposed to adjust?
First, do not take anything for granted. Make the time and space for ongoing discussions about your partner’s comfort levels when it comes to taking health risks, different vaccination statuses, and separation anxiety. While these conversations may pose difficulty, it is important to approach one another from a place of curiosity and a willingness to understand despite a possible difference of opinion.
For those who have had a positive quarantine experience, talk about how you can restructure life to preserve the more enjoyable aspects of the past year together. For couples who have struggled, this may be the time to start processing past hurts and grievances that had been too sensitive to work through in a confined space.
Regardless of your experience, there will be new norms to get used to and navigate. It’s easy to fall out of touch or become overwhelmed when there’s such uncertainty and stress levels go up, but this is also the most important time and opportunity to work through the stress as a team. One way of doing that is by setting aside time to discuss what is stressing you out both individually and as a couple.
For every situation, there will be a range of emotions to experience and learn from. Remember that for every experience, there is usually a lot more under the surface than we ourselves realize. If it feels like you’re stuck or struggling to get through these times, an experienced mental health counselor can be of assistance. With compassion, guidance and understanding, together, we can grow through the adversity. Contact us to get started!