Musings of a Mental Health Counselor
Over half the American population will experience trauma at some point during their lives, and the vast majority of people who have endured trauma will face mental health problems as a result. While it would be best if these statistics decreased, understanding the causes, symptoms, and implications of trauma can help us better manage unfortunate circumstances.
Arguing in relationships is normal. But do you often find yourself “sparring” with your partner with little to no resolution? Do you find yourself tuning out your partner in the middle of a disagreement? Read below to see the 6 signs that relationship expert, John Gottman, and his team discovered that predicted relationship dissolution.
Why do we suffer? We know that life involves struggle and a host of difficult experiences. That is no surprise. There are some difficulties however that are beyond our normal ability to manage.
When we get hit with blow after blow and constantly feel the adrenaline rush of another crisis or overwhelming event, it can exhaust out internal ability to cope.
Teens in a Changing World
The world teenagers have to face is wider and more varied than ever. Teenagers are living in a reality few had imagined, and quite frankly may not have wanted, for the next generation. Many are spending their formative years in the shadow of a virus that has claimed millions of lives, while under the threat of violence from their fellow peers, vulnerable to cyberbullying, and of course, subject to the relentless pressure to fit societal beauty standards.
With many familiar milestones like prom, graduation, and coming of age ceremonies postponed or even canceled, millions of teens have been left disoriented and grieving over the loss of celebration for all their hard work and the chance to make lifelong memories. The ability to reduce anxiety through sports or recreational clubs has all but disappeared thanks to online schooling. Hours instead are spent in front of a screen in the same house where parents, siblings, and pets compete for attention, time, and perhaps Wi-Fi access.
In short, it has not been easy, and no one can predict when these pressures will abate.
We are all aware that adolescence can be a risky period mental health wise as teenagers experience a multitude of challenges and changes in a short but intense period, inevitably with a background of fluctuating hormones and emotions.
What Parents Can Do
As a parent, a loving and supportive household is the first defense against poor mental health outcomes. Home, now that your teenager is spending most of their time there, should be a place of encouragement and acceptance. Teenagers can be quiet and withdrawn and although on the surface it may not appear that much is going on, be proactive in talking about feelings with your teen and learn to sit with harder emotions rather than always taking a problem-solving approach.
With few opportunities to be celebrated for their achievements, it is more important than ever for you to be your teen's champion, acknowledge their efforts around the house, and give praise for academic performance, even if it is not at pre-pandemic levels.
Mental Health and Physical Health Go Hand in Hand
Mentally healthy teenagers need physical activity and a healthy diet. When feeling down or discouraged it can feel easy to neglect cooking nutritious meals and eating together at an organized and familiar time. A simple routine of having dinner or breakfast together as a time to touch base and speak words of kindness can make a world of difference to your teen. Walks after dinner or following a fitness video as a family is yet another opportunity to connect as well as keep fit and expel anxiety.
Recognizing the Needs of Your Teen
After two years of a pandemic, you might have realized that the needs of a 14-year-old are much different than that of a 16-year-old. Providing opportunities for your teenager to exercise increased levels of responsibility and experience new freedoms will require having talks with your teenager about boundaries. Although they may not have been able to secure their driver's license, you could teach them about financial literacy and help them start investing. Even if only the library is open, a later curfew may still imbue a sense of increased trust and liberty.
The most difficult challenge to fostering your teen's improved mental health may be access to their peers and finding opportunities to safely socialize. This is where group therapy might play a role should your teen be open to it. At group therapy, your teen will not only have the chance to meet new people, but they can also have access to a new support network as well as trained therapists to whom they can disclose things they may be too afraid to talk about otherwise. This safe place will give your teen both an outlet and an escape from the pressures they face as well as a chance to build community with other teens who can understand exactly what they are going through. Here at HMHC, we have groups specifically for teens that you can find.
Perhaps before COVID times, all one needed was to join a sport or club to be a well-adjusted young adult. But with traditional avenues and resources becoming increasingly inaccessible, this is the time to start thinking outside the box. New pressures demand a new response and the need for positive change in the way we may have approached things in the past. Your teen is facing a brand new world, let us make sure they have the tools to face it!
