By Maya Chandy
The New Year presents an ideal opportunity to create a few resolutions. Although
your fitness routine or career goals may initially come to mind, resolutions don’t
have to be a solo endeavor. In fact, your marriage or relationship is likely the last
thing you want to neglect, so establishing a few resolutions with your significant
other is an excellent way to set yourselves up for success in 2023. This is especially
true given that relationships aren’t effortless for anyone. On the contrary, they
require plenty of attention. So collaboratively defining and tackling relationship
goals is essential for a lasting, positive partnership.
Pillars of a Strong Relationship - The first step to setting resolutions is
understanding what you are striving for.
Because an ideal relationship looks different for everyone, you and your
significant other should talk about what’s important for both of you.
A couple walking alongside columns
That said, here are a few components that are generally present in strong
relationships:
Communication
Clear Expectations
Compromise
Compassion
Friendship
Trust
Love
Affection
Respect
Five Resolutions
1. Set The Phones Down More Often
In light of technology, staying present isn’t always the easiest task. Getting lost in an
Instagram rabbit hole is perfectly understandable. However, when you are
constantly on your phone, your partner feels like less of a priority as your screen
appears to be more interesting than they are. Most importantly, providing your
undivided attention proves that you respect your partner’s time, that you care
about what they have to say. Not to mention, if you are focusing on your cell
phone, you aren’t fully present, meaning you are missing out on valuable memories
and much needed quality time.
2. Express Gratitude
A thank you greeting card.
As you settle into a longer-term relationship, gratitude sometimes gets forgotten.
Even if you are truly thankful for your partner, you might forget that they need to
hear or see how much you appreciate them. Without explicit reassurance, one
person can feel like they are taken for granted, which usually leads to inaccurate
assumptions if not resentment. These are fortunately preventable problems given
that simply reminding your partner how much you appreciate their time and effort
can go a long way. Of course, actions really do speak louder than words, so your
support and small favors are great ways to express gratitude.
3. Laugh a Little More
An older couple touching foreheads and laughing together.
Reality is tough at times, so laughter doesn’t always feel readily attainable. But
making a conscious effort to make each other laugh can be more beneficial than
you’d expect. This is partially because humor is an attractive characteristic,
suggesting that if you find each other funny, you are more likely to maintain a
strong attraction. Even better, humor contributes to connection as you feel closer
to those you regularly laugh with, and, when used appropriately, humor can be a
good way to ease tension and lighten your moods.
4. Spend Quality Time Together
A couple walking in the rain on a boardwalk.
When life gets busy, you may be tempted to dismiss date nights. But prioritizing
time with your partner is crucial for a happy relationship as feeling connected to
each other is much harder if you aren’t engaging in enjoyable experiences or
meaningful conversations. Along those lines, good memories bring positive
emotions, so you will probably be more pleased with your significant other if you
plan regular fun dates.
Plus, choosing to spend time together reinforces your commitment by
inadvertently telling your partner that you value their company, and rekindling
romance prevents love and affection from dwindling.
5. Practice Conflict Resolution
From finances to in-laws to differences in options, there are likely at least a few
topics that push your buttons. Getting into the occasional heated discussion is
entirely normal, even necessary. What matters most is how you handle this conflict.
In other words, repairing damage allows you to genuinely move forward.
Therefore, having ways to constructively handle inevitable obstacles is imperative
to your relationship’s long-term success.
Conflict resolution is typically a challenging part of relationships, so don’t
hesitate to consider getting professional help.
At Haven MHC, our therapists can provide you with tools that allow you to calmly
and effectively navigate disputes. In therapy, you can also explore and target the
root of recurrent arguments, which makes lasting peace possible. Please reach out
for a free consultation if you’d like to learn more.
References
Grande, D. (2017). Date Night: Not a Luxury, A Necessity. Psychology Today.
Schmitz, T. (2021). Conflict Resolution: An Important Life Skill. The Conover Company.
Lewandowski, G. (2021). 10 Pillars of a Strong Relationship. Berkely.